


Amor Fati

by abomination



Series: Ameripan Week 2016 [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ameripan Week 2016, Human Names Used, M/M, Rating May Change, Red String of Fate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abomination/pseuds/abomination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiku Honda has given up on finding the lover tied to him by the Red String of Fate. </p><p>But Alfred hasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amor Fati

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”_ -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You see...this was _going_ to be a one shot. Now, it's a full blown au and shit, I have to write it. Sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, I had to edit this one on my own so it may be a little rough...I'm a skimming kind of reader like 90% of the time outside of school because I lack patience so *shrugs* Anyway, enjoy lovelies.

Kiku was sure he would never meet his soulmate. Despite the red string that was tied loosely around his pinky finger, he had planted in his mind the idea that he was too late, too old and too unlucky. Everyone comforted him, telling him that he’d just have to be patient. But, now it was his 30th birthday and he was inclined to spend it alone, whether it was by his own choice or not.

He had moved to America a while ago, mostly to get away from his family and friends in Japan who were just _too_ happy. He began to feel himself growing more and more bitter as the days went by. _It was just for a while_ , he kept telling himself. _He wanted to travel and see what the other countries had to offer._

In truth, he had traveled in hopes of finding his soulmate.

But today he decided to put the notion behind him. Kiku was going to forget about this soulmate business and move on with his life. Maybe he would buy himself a dog or cat. Maybe even pick up a new hobby—he had always liked drawing.

Kiku sighed as he left the grocery store. He had stocked up on some essentials and other ingredients for his favorite traditional meals. It was his birthday and even if he was a little lonely, he would still celebrate it in some way.

It was raining today. The water droplets muted the color of the pavement, drowning the color out of the world around him. There was also a slight chill in the air that gave him goosebumps despite his jacket.

Kiku cursed himself for forgetting his umbrella. The rain showed no signs of stopping either, so he trudged on against the cool droplets that landed in his bangs and traced his skin. He could always take a warm bath when he got home. Kiku smiled faintly at the prospect.

 

He had already made it far enough that he was a few blocks from his apartment, when he had heard the first voice against the sounds of the busy work hour traffic.

“I’m telling you, he’s here, I can just feel it, you know?” A distinct voice shouted over the sound of the traffic.

“Don’t be daft, you idiot. We just arrived here, what, three days ago?” The voice that responded was heavily accented. _British_ , Kiku guessed.

Kiku kept looking forward, ignoring the urge to look for the source of the voice. There was a prickling sensation somewhere on the back of his neck that began to bother him.

“You’re right,” the voice sounded painfully crestfallen. “Maybe coming here to California was a stupid idea.”

“Aw, don’t sound so down. I’m sure you’ll find them. I’m just not sure spending your money traveling from place to place is going to help much. I mean, it’s the ‘red string of fate’ right? They’ll come to you, not the other way around.”

Kiku was slightly bothered by the person’s response. He could understand the other guy's desperation. He had felt that way once too. Simply waiting and watching everyone else around you get consumed by a love you have yet to experience was torture— _especially_ when you got older. If Kiku got a dime for every pitied look he received at occasions such a weddings, well, let's say he wouldn't be a Japanese teacher working for a middle school right now. 

“What—?” Kiku sputtered in his native tongue as he felt himself knocked out his thinking state and into an almost rock solid chest. He tumbled back as he was quite small and nowhere as near as built (though he attempted to do exercise every day in his apartment). A strong hand had found a firm grip on around his free wrist in an attempt to steady him.

The result was Kiku managing to stay upright, but his groceries where another ordeal and were scattered all over the pavement. He blinked up at the man who was still holding his wrist tightly.

He was tall, blonde and—well, _extremely_ handsome. His blue eyes weren’t necessarily on his own, but instead on his wrist. Kiku’s gaze followed the stranger’s to find the source of his curiosity.

His eyes widened as he realized that the red string hanging from his pinky finger was connected to his. In shock, Kiku pulled his wrist from his grip, which had loosened a considerable amount.

“Arthur,” the stranger said to the person Kiku had just realized was beside him. He was a blond as well, but with green eyes. Arthur's expression had mirrored Kiku's own confusion. “I think I just found my soulmate.” Alfred spoke slowly and his eyes locked with Kiku’s.

Kiku was shocked beyond belief and kept blinking as if it were a dream.

It _had_ to be a dream.

“Excuse me?” The stranger - his _soulmate_ - edged closer and waved in his face. Kiku looked up at him, watching the string that hung between the two of them.

“The poor man’s probably in shock, Alfred.” Arthur spoke from behind them. He watched the situation with a hint of bemusement in his eyes, though it seemed feigned.

“Alfred.” Kiku repeated. So that was his soulmate's name. His cheeks were lightly dusted with pink as he realized what he had just said aloud.

Alfred smiled. “Yup, Alfred F. Jones. That’s my name. And yours?”

“K-Kiku…My name is Kiku H-Honda.” He was surprised by how weak his voice sounded.

Alfred grabbed Kiku’s hand and kissed it, blush plaguing his cheeks as he probably realized how cheesy it all was. “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, soulmate.”

Kiku looked at him in surprise, wondering how he could swiftly transition from surprise to acceptance. He stole his hand back and out of his grasp. “I-It’s nice to meet you too,” his face was heating up like crazy despite the cold rain that would occasionally hit his pale skin. “I, um, I should pick up my things before they get drenched.” Kiku shook his head as if to get himself to focus and bent down to begin to gather his things in the already soaking paper bag. He knew he should have gone with plastic. 

He jumped when he felt a presence beside him and looked only to find out Alfred had come to his aid. While picking up an apple, their hands brushed and Kiku pulled back instinctively.

“So, where are you from?” Alfred asked casually as if they didn’t just find out they were meant for each other.

“Japan.” He answered as calmly as he could, still perplexed by the entire situation.

“ _Wow_ , that’s so cool! I’m from Texas. Small town with not many people. Do you have any siblings? I have a twin brother named Mattie.”

“I have two brothers.” Kiku tried to mimic the nonchalant attitude of the man beside him, but was failing miserably. His moments felt stiff and robotic. Nevermind the way his voice would quake towards the end of sentences. 

“Kiku?”

Kiku stopped for a moment to look at Alfred. _Big mistake._ He was beaming like crazy, it was a sight too cute not to look at and Kiku could feel something pooling in his stomach.

“Will you go to dinner with me?”

Kiku blinked at the sudden question. Things were moving unbelievably fast. _Too fast._ “I…uh…”

He saw Alfred’s smile falter a little and he felt a little guilty for not explaining himself.

“It’s my birthday today,” he admitted quickly.

Alfred’s smile was back before he knew it. “Wow, really?” He exclaimed. “That’s awesome! Are you doing anything, like throwing a party or something?”

Kiku shook his head. “I was going to just go home and cook a nice meal for myself—you and your friend are invited i-if you’d like to.”

“Of course!” He answered without asking Arthur who stood against the wall of a store under an umbrella. There was a hint of contempt in his expression and even looked a bit standoffish. Kiku wondered if it was directed towards him or Alfred.

In truth Kiku didn't really care right now. What he really wanted was to get out of the rain. And his wet jacket. Maybe even take a nap.

He had spent so long without a soulmate—he didn’t know what to do now that he had one.

Yet, once they finished cleaning up the pair left to Kiku’s apartment. Arthur had left them claiming "prior arrangements" and took the umbrella with them. Despite this they trudged along towards Kiku's apartment with the rain as their soundtrack.  

 

* * *

 

 

Alfred never thought his soulmate would react this way.

He thought there would be kissing and hugging—maybe even some tears. With the way Kiku acted it seemed like he was both interested yet disinterested. He seemed to be shocked and stunned into some sense of internal disbelief despite the string that connected them together. Granted, he had romanticized the thought in his head maybe a little too much, but he thought it would have been smoother than this.

Alfred tried to make the walk home as comfortable as he could for Kiku. He gave him some space (though he thought he maybe blew it with him practically inviting himself to his home and maybe all the random personal questions and maybe, _just maybe_ , the dinner invite). The rain was coming down a lot harder than before and they were only using thin jackets that were soaking quickly in the weather.

“My house is only a few blocks from here, hopefully we can make it.”

Alfred clutched the wet grocery bag closer. There was no way the bag would make it in this weather. Or their health.

“Kiku…I can’t see. My glasses…” Kiku, or the blurry figure that Alfred figured was probably Kiku, stopped and turned around. He felt the dark haired man wrap his slender fingers around his hand. It was Alfred's guess that the shorter man was blushing profusely right now. Alfred felt himself being guided towards the left-hand side of the pavement and soon Alfred couldn’t feel the rain, but he could feel Kiku hastily let go of his hand. 

They were under a flower shop with a shade. Alfred handed the paper bag to Kiku as he cleaned his glasses with a rag he kept in his case.

“Thanks,” he said as he put his glasses back on. “I’m as blind as a bat without these things.”

For the first time Alfred saw Kiku with a hint of a smile as he chuckled lightly. “Sorry I didn’t realize sooner.”

“We should probably try to find an umbrella or wait until it stops.” Alfred suggested. They were both soaked. The thin material of Kiku’s jacket began to cling to his small frame and his bangs was plastered across his forehead. 

“Is it forecasted to stop?”

Alfred checked his phone and scrunched up his nose. “Turns out February 11th is going to be a _very_ rainy day. The rain won’t be stopping for a while.”

“I haven’t seen any taxi that hasn't already been occupied, either.” Kiku mumbled more to himself, but Alfred heard.

“I can check if the drug store has any umbrellas?”

“I’ll do it.” Kiku pulled his hood over his head and stepped out into the rain. He looked glad to be able to assist, but Alfred couldn’t help but think Kiku was just glad to get away from him.

 

* * *

 

 

Kiku needed space to think.

It was a lot to mull over in his head. Being with Alfred felt so  _right_ and that scared him beyond belief. It filled him with new worries to replace his old ones and Kiku was sure he would somehow mess this up. Alfred looked so young and happy and Kiku was just a Japanese teacher at a local middle school. He was boring and quiet and preferred dinner to loud parties. Maybe the universe was wrong for once, maybe they had made a mistake in putting them together and he would stay alone for—

Kiku felt someone grab his hand. He looked back to find that Alfred had caught up to him. The other man looked slightly pained as his glasses were easily clouded by the rain.

Alfred fell into step beside him and Kiku let him lace his fingers into his.

Kiku’s head was spinning. _So much for being alone._ “Why?”

Alfred shrugged. “Felt like you needed it. I'm also _extremely_ blind without glasses.”

Kiku blushed. He _had_ needed it and that was embarrassing enough. “T-Thank you.”

The pair had managed to find an umbrella at the drug store a few doors down though Kiku was kind of annoyed with their lack of luck as of the sporadic rain was slowing down. They bought an eco-bag for the food which Alfred held in one hand and the umbrella in the other.

Kiku walked beside him and would occasionally look up at him. Alfred had seemed to be in some level of deep thought as his blue eyes stared coolly ahead. He tried to ignore the rush he got when they would brush against each other.

They arrived at the apartment in no time. Kiku directed Alfred to place the bag down on the table and took Alfred’s jacket for him to put it in the dryer along with his own. He was surprised when Alfred peeled off his shirt as well, causing Kiku to look away as he did.

Alfred hadn’t seemed to notice and behaved casually as if he did that all the time. 

“Y-You can sit at the stool by the kitchen island. I’ll be back in a minute with something for you to wear.”

Kiku did just that, going through his closet to see if he could find anything for Alfred to wear. Maybe something of Ludwig’s—one of his closest friends who would sometimes spend the night when he got into it with his soulmate.

He was in luck as he found an old shirt and pair of sweat pants that were relatively Alfred’s size. He got changed himself into some comfortable clothing then came back to give Alfred the clothes he had found and directed him to the bathroom to get changed.

Kiku began his cooking and wondered if Alfred would like any of it. He was really in the mood for some ramen and wanted to make his mother’s recipe that he remembered fondly from his childhood. Kiku got to work, pulling out the ingredients and preparing every vegetable and noodle for cooking.

Alfred had come out sooner than expected. Kiku was relieved to see the clothes had fit him perfectly.

“Where’s your dryer?” Alfred asked as he pushed back his wet hair with one hand.

“No—“ Kiku said, his hands moving to untie the apron he wore.

“It’s fine, Keeks. I’ve got it. You don’t have to fuss over me, okay?” Alfred smiled.

Kiku’s hands dropped to his sides and he sighed in defeat. He ignored the cutesy nickname he was just given. “It’s in the spare room to the left of the bathroom.

Alfred nodded happily and picked up the wet clothes. Kiku tried to get back to work, setting the noodles to cook and preparing the broth. He was chopping the onions when Alfred came back and—to Kiku’s surprise—joined him in the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and hovered over Kiku.

“So, what are you making?” Alfred asked as he watched him chopping the onion with interest.

“Ramen.” Kiku answered.

“That’s your favorite dish?”

Kiku nodded. “My mom’s recipe was the best though. She used to make it every year for my birthday.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re fine, that happened a long time ago.” Kiku began to move on to his next vegetable. He found it easier to talk to Alfred while focusing on something else. 

They settled into a comfortable silence and the only sound that could be heard was the sound of Kiku’s knife hitting the cutting board. Alfred would occasionally fill the silence with small talk or a story which didn’t bother Kiku. Instead, he listened and responded only when he thought it was necessary.

When dinner was finally done they sat next to each other at the island. Alfred had helped him set everything up. Kiku gave Alfred a fork and a spoon in case he didn’t know how to use chopsticks. (He didn’t though he made Kiku promise to teach him later.)

“So,” Alfred asked as he put down his fork after eating a mouthful of noodles. “How old are you turning?”

Kiku tried to ignore his lack of etiquette. ”Thirty,” he tried not to make a big deal out of it.

Alfred made a choking noise and beat on his chest. “Wait, what? You’re lying, you look younger than me!”

Kiku looked from his bowl of ramen to Alfred. “I really am thirty.”

“Dude, I’m nineteen.” The surprise was evident in Alfred’s tone.

Kiku dropped his chopsticks. Alfred had looked young, but he didn’t think he was _that_ young. His face began to heat up and he looked away for a moment. He felt like a creep now. 

“I mean, but we’re meant for each other, right?” Alfred said after a long pause. “That’s got to mean something. _Plus_ , I think you’re really damn cute _and_ not a day over twenty.” He tried to make light of the situation. 

Kiku choked on his tea. “I-I guess.” He set his cup down. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m not what you expected, I—“

“You’re not what I expected, Kiku. You’re better than I expected.” Alfred smiled brightly which made Kiku blush even more.

He was even more surprised when he leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

“Sorry,” Alfred said hurriedly. “Got too ahead of myself, but the truth is: I don't care if your way older than me or if we're complete opposites. I've been looking for you everywhere and now that I've found you and I'm looking straight into your eyes...I _know_ it was all worth it."

Kiku looked away from Alfred. He had so many things he wanted to say, but he just wasn’t used to saying them. Finally, he found the courage to lift his head in the silence and meet Alfred’s gaze. He was overwhelmed by all these feelings at once. Fear, apprehension, relief, hope and a feeling he thought was love—pooled within him.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you too.” Kiku said, smiling as a tear slid down his cheek. "I'm sorry I almost gave up."

Alfred got up from his seat and wrapped his arms around him.

“It's okay," he whispered as he held onto him tightly. "I’m here now."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos and the likes keep me motivated! Feel free to point out any mistakes (I probably have a lot)! See you guys next time~


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